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Wednesday, April 18th, 2001
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5:40p - Cheap MothaFucka!
So... I get my new power supply today. Along with the video card I paid for last week. Tonight I get it home and install it. I get no video outta the motherboard. After a few test, I'm figuring the motherboard is hosed.
Goddammit.
Yet another run to the hardware store I get to make in the morning.
Just to ease my frustration, I steal a bit of the roommate's whiskey n' coke.
I am, as they say, comfortably numb, at the moment.
As for work, it was a decent day. Had some really cool calls at the end of the night, so I walked out of the callcenter feelin' pretty good.
Its really nice to be able to just go do my job, have most of the customers be really receptive to what I say, read a little about the TCP/IP protocol (learn a little), and go home. This is the nicer side of my job. I like it when its like this. No bullshit.
Though, one thing was really underlined today for me.
I can't be a drone. I just can't. Its not possible. I must think for myself and feel for myself. I must experience things and do things my way. Not corporate america's way. Not someone else's way. **MY** way.
Sure, I'll make my fair share of mistakes. But they're my mistakes. When I make them, its also my own success. Not anyone else's.
There's not a feeling in the world that can hold a candle to a success that's all your own.
That, and snuggling up to someone you care about. Those are the best two feelings in the world.
In thinking about it.... I probably won't be terribly rich or very famous at any point in my life.
It really doesn't bother me that much.
I think that happiness is a better yardstick of success in life. Because with happiness, you're the only one that can decide if you've succeeded or not.
Yeah, as you can see I'm real big on the whole do-it-yourself thing.
There's a big long story behind it, but basically its 'cuz all I've really had is myself.
If I fuck up, nobody's there to catch me. Its all me.
So, when I succeed. Fuck everyone else. Its all me there too.
I've been completely on my own a fortnight before my 18th birthday. I'd pretty much been doing things my way for quite a while, even back then.
Mostly because there really weren't many people willing to help me.
This is one area where I feel I'm deeply indebted to a certain family for all they did for me and all they showed me how to do for myself.
Sadly, due to my work schedule, I haven't had much contact with them in quite a while. I miss them.
Anyhow, my drink is done and I'll leave to finish my food. Thank you to all those who partake in my babble. You're all very dear to me.
current mood:  mellow
current music: Izzy playing Tribes2 and blowing shit up. (comment on this)
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wakko's journal