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Saturday, July 1st, 2006
12:59a - Worst. Night. Evar.
Good grief. When it rains, it fucking pours.

Tonight started as I left work, picked up turtle_avenger from home, and went to dinner. Then, we went to the theater to see Superman Returns.

As I'm making a turn into the underground garage at Pacific Place, I think nothing of the guy that just pulled out, but had stopped just outside the entrance. All of a sudden, as I'm halfway through turning in, I see his reverse lights flash on, and hear his engine rev up. The ass end of his brand new black Audi seems to lurch straight at my head, and then crunches into the side of my car. The front wheel well, quarter panel and door are all pushed inward.

Well fuck. So there's my first accident in my own car.

The guy was decent enough about it, even after my questioning if he knew what a rear-view mirror was and whether he had the brain cells to operate one. I got all of his info, including a photo of his driver's license and his business card. He's one of the many Directors at Microsoft.

I park my car and head into the building, calling my insurance company, but my night isn't finished there.

After I wrap up making my insurance claim, I get seated for the movie. I'm prepared for a fun and hopefully entertaining rehashing of the Caped Crusader.

Unfortunately, some selfish cunt and her emasculated eunuch fuck-puppet of a boyfriend insist on being rather chatty through the movie's intro. Apparently this bitch doesn't think the theater's "Silence is Golden" message applies to her. I give them a relatively polite "Shhhh". She still doesn't get the hint. Over the course of the next hour or so, there are various moments where she's whispering with her boy, but I decide to leave her alone because she's not being overly loud. I'm hoping she is finally content to just watch the movie and not disturb those around her (me).

I'm wrong. Apparently her ritalin runs out, and during the second third of the movie, she starts talking in a normal conversational tone. So, I turn around and tell her, "Hey, Shut up."

At this point, she flips me off, and says, "Fuck you." As I start to rebut, trying to tell her that she isn't the only one in the theater, she goes, "Y'know, you have a real anger management problem."

Uhh... excuse me?!? I would LOVE to show your stupid ass the real meaning of an anger management problem. However, I just want to enjoy the movie I've paid $20 for me and my wife to see. So, instead of trying to convince the nice officers that it wasn't assault and that she really did deserve the beating, I get up and involve the theater manager.

Thankfully, the manager gets her to shut up on penalty of getting thrown out, and I get to enjoy the rest of the movie. I also got a pair of passes to see the next movie for free. With that, I'm willing to let this whole thing pass.

I'm also happy she didn't decide to start a confrontation after the movie was over.

Next, on our way home, I feel it prudent to take the surface streets rather than risk the freeway. The down side is that, on our way up Boren, there's this car tailgating me so closely that I can't see their headlights. I also hear this insistent honking. I'm thinking, 'What the hell is it now?' So, I pull over and stop, get out of my car, when the two cars behind me (one I hadn't been able to see with the tailgating asshole in my rear-view). There are two teenagers in the first car, the one in the passenger seat yells to me, "It's not us, it's them" as they drive by. She points behind her to the car following them. This car has another teenager hanging out the passenger side window, who yells something unintelligable at me as the driver continues honking at their friends in the first car.

I yell some random profanity at the stupid teenagers, flip them off, and get back in my car. As we drive off again, not two blocks up Boren, some jackass that's either drunk or high steps off the curb and right into my lane. I've got the green light, but he seems hell-bent on allowing me to dent my car yet again. I honk, slam on my brakes, and he reluctantly steps back onto the curb as I drive by and yell curses at him.



Right now, after all that, I'm thankful just to have made it home in one piece.



Oh yeah, and Superman Returns was really really good.


current mood: furious

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